Teacher: Good morning class I have a couple of riddles to start off this morning. I have something here that's round red and good to eat? Sarah: an apple? Teacher: No it's a tomato but you're thinking. Teacher: I have something here that's yellow and odd shaped and good to eat? Michael: A banana? Teacher: No it's a pear but you're thinking. Little Johnny: Teacher, I have a riddle. Teacher: Okay Johnny tell us your riddle. Little Johnny: I have something in my pocket that's round, hard and has a head on it? Teacher: Johnny, you go see the principal right this instant. Little Johnny: It's a nail, but you're thinking.
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher
picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds
sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be
left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well,
the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're
thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three
women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the
second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one
is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"
When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair
behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!"
shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back
asleep.
A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and
Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again,
Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted
April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.
Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to
Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her
with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT
F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT
UP YOUR ARSE!"
